Healing is Done Best in Community

*Originally posted on Substack June 30, 2023

Full disclosure, I am not someone who has historically enjoyed “group” things. I am super independent, and didn’t consider myself much of a “joiner”. Whether it was mommy and me groups when my kids were young, group fitness programs, and surely never group health programs, as a member or a coach.

I had a misguided assumption that if I were in a group program, I wouldn’t get the attention I needed or desired, and thought (wrongly!) that someone else’s reflections would detract and distract from my own experience. 

As a coach, I had attempted to expand a 1-1 coaching program to a group course and it was not the success I had hoped for. I now realize it wasn’t the group coaching concept  that didn’t work, it was that the program itself required 1-1 attention due to multiple factors; mostly a diverse population with varying ages, genders, health concerns and levels of ill health.

Fast forward to the present where I have taken a deep dive into Women’s Health. I have quickly realized the importance of group coaching, especially for women. There is tremendous value in community and the advantage of support coming from other women with similar life experiences is a gift.  Now, after seeing it with my own eyes, I am a firm believer that group coaching and being in community is an absolute must for healing, wellness and longevity.

I admit that my fears were misplaced. There is zero distraction or detraction when one group member is reflecting, quite the opposite actually. It is beautiful to witness another member of the group have an a-ha moment in that safe container while someone else is sharing. There is trust, sisterhood and safety that allows us to practice our inherent, feminine way of navigating stressful transitions in life; Tend and Befriend. 

 

Tend and Befriend is recognized in psychology as a typical female response to stress. Humans, women and men, do not do well in isolation, and this stress response represents a choice to come together, approach challenges as a stronger whole, and offer a helping hand to anyone who needs it. Being connected in this way has been shown to offer protection and support, improve physical health and emotional well-being, boost empathy, promote feelings of belonging, lead to personal growth and remind you of what you value most in life.

Research has shown that your social connections at 50 years old determine your health status at 80 years old!

Having loving relationships is the main determining factor in life/health span. This is partly because we are social beings, but also, being in community creates a safe space to access your own inner teacher and healer. The path forward is often buried too deep, and fortunately others who have walked before us can leave clues. Rumination while navigating  challenges in isolation can make us feel worse, alone and like there is something wrong with us. Sharing in a safe group container allows us to be seen, heard and realize we are not alone!

I can think of no more important time in life for this need to feel seen, supported and connected than the season of perimenopause and menopause. This midlife transition is truly the great unifier for women. It doesn’t matter if we are mothers or not, CEO’s or homemakers, all women walk this path through menopause to the second half of life.  There is so much mystery (even in the medical world!) around the hormonal shifts, symptoms and concerns that come up around this time. How do we know what’s normal? What’s not? What needs further attention? Will I ever feel better? Sharing in community with women experiencing similar issues, realizing you are not alone or broken helps us gain the resilience to move through this transition with more grace. 

Gaining insight and tools to ease common complaints allow us to show up as our best selves so we can meet the demands of life, whatever they are. Having a circle of women holding space for you, holding you accountable, cheering you on and offering a safe space to be your authentic self is a priceless gift we all deserve. 

If this resonates with something in you, please get on our interest list for the Vital Reset Retreat. April 22-25, 2027 in Boonville, CA. Learn more Here